A Reconstructive Surgeon's Unique Take on What It Means to "Make Yourself"

“[Gender affirmation surgery isn't yet something that's usually taught in any curriculum. I just went around and trained and learned different techniques. We had some people come from Michigan, I went to conferences and Amsterdam, trained with a person in North Cal, went to Thailand, and then built a program with getting a urologist and a clinical social worker and a case manager and creating a multidisciplinary clinic. And so that is what I've started—it’s a large portion of my practice right now. I still do reconstructive surgery, but because this is so new and I'm at the head of it, this is what I do a lot.

“And so it was a little hard to learn because one, people weren't really doing it and then there were certain people in private practice that wouldn't offer to teach me or let me come and observe them in the operating room because we were basically a competing business. They wouldn't share ideas and share knowledge, which was very frustrating.

“I just had to keep knocking on people's doors and cold call people and ask around and stuff like that. I had to be very proactive in trying to find people that would help me. Surgery isn’t just something that you can just read in a book—it’s best if you can go and watch a surgery and even scrub in to feel tissue and understand the planes and the three dimensional change.”

“[The patients] now have something that's covered by insurance, and can finally match up their identity with their physical sex and feel whole. They’re also putting a lot of trust in us because they know we're a young program.

“But we learn from them too. Some of the stories are amazing. There are patients who undergo surgery and on the last day they're in the hospital, they look at you and you can tell that deep in their eyes that they're offering you their heart because they're so thankful that someone has helped them in a way that's not taking advantage. It's very rewarding.”

“I see patients right after they've been diagnosed with something [life-altering] and their mind is spinning at 200 miles an hour—you’re not only thinking about treatment, but also [wondering] what is going to get you back to your normal life?

“If there's some hiccup in the road, you make a detour in your pathway. Everyone tries to redirect to get back onto their normal routine. This is where everyone is comfortable talking about ritual and making yourself—everyone has some kind of pattern that feels very satisfying. So when you do get thrown off the path, you want to redirect to try to get back. That’s where I come in: trying to get these patients or these people back on track; feeling whole or feeling like themselves again."

“When you're a resident, you just subject yourself to be a person of the hospital or the program. And when I became an attending—when I graduated from everything and finally had my own practice—I knew that I wanted to come to a city that offered a lot of culture and activities. And so LA was good in that regard and I was very big on making sure I had balance. It's very easy to be tired and come home and just sit on the couch, but it's important in my eyes to still go be active and do stuff outside of work and outside of the house.

“I travel. I have a bucket list and I try to get to all these bucket list places, a few every year. I don't cook a lot, but I like to eat, so I love it when other people cook. I like to read. Just something that stimulates your mind outside of your everyday practice.”

“My mom has this motto that you're never too old to learn. Last year, I learned how to get certified for scuba diving. When I moved to LA, I learned how to surf. These kinds of things. [it’s about] just having an appetite for just what's out there, and choosing to explore.”

“It’s finding what you’re passionate about and just continuing to do that. Never feel like you're finished. Just always go look for something new, something different. You never know where you're going to get inspiration or see something new.”